Campaign of the Month: January 2012
Star Trek Late Night
Tarak's Personal Log - Episode 18
I must say that Matt has surprised me. I really thought the new guy was a waste of my air but then he becomes the one who actually saves me from slushy-world. I owe him for that. Getting saved was great until they told me we were going to another prison to rescue another person I really don’t like. Fraking Thuku, who quite honestly is a piece of dren, got himself caught by the Imperials. I have no beef with the Imperials and really didn’t want one but I am loyal to my crew. I told them upfront that after this I was done. I am tired of hanging out with a bunch of guys who have no direction, wont work to make a profit, and attract attention everywhere they go. I need to look out for number one, which means I need to go.
We set up some ship, that they stole while I was stranded, as a movie studio. Then we went to the Imperial prison planet only to discover it wasn’t a prison planet but a system full of Space stations, star destroyers, and a god damned fleet. I wanted to kill Alyr for not researching things before coming here. Had I known, I wouldn’t have come.
As we entered system Karr started complaining about his stomach and ass hurting. We ignored this as there were more pressing matters but then we were taken into tractor beam and swallowed up by on of the star destroyers. I never understood that name. The Death Star destroys planets but the Star Destroyer is just a big battleship/carrier. Very odd. The eggshells took our weapons and arrested Karr. They said he was a Jedi because he had lightsabers. I thanked the gods that I lost my lightwhip in the lava when Karr tossed me to my death. Later we learned that Karr had contracted a case of the Ripleys. I felt bad for the big guy because it is well known that the Shit Weasels will eat your guts and anus right out of the body. I guess Karr was lucky they found it before it killed him.
The whole, “I’m a porn director and this is the movie I want to shoot” went over remarkably well. I was quite surprised and am flabbergasted that we are still alive. While they filmed the movie, I wall crawled into places no one could find me. I planted bombs, disabled the tractor beams, and even robbed a few rooms. When the real rescue went down, I detonated the bombs as a distraction and me, Kylee, and A’lana lit out of there in a Lambda Class Shuttle. What I didn’t realize was that Kylee had set the warp core on the movie ship to overload. The explosion was quite glorious and it brought back memories of killing Cardassian scum during the occupation. I think I fell in love with Kylee as I watched those ships exploding, drifting into each other, and all the chaos that came with it. She had made some real good bombs. The vast amount of destruction was unreal.
We had planned to hook up with Matt, Alyr, and Karr but I decided that it was a bad decision. Instead I had Kylee plot a course to Ferengi Space. From there I will try to contact Dr Cole and see if I can get us all a new face, dna, and identities. I think it would be best to fade away and start anew. I will sell this crappy shuttle somewhere along the way and from there, who knows. I hope those bastards create enough of a flash to keep the Imperials on their trail and not my own. Knowing Cutter’s penchant for drama, I am certain that my life will be far less exciting but at least I will be free.