Matt's Personal Log - Episode 28 - What Actually Happened

What the frell? A few days ago, we were on Citadel after that sweet ambush. Karr got word that his girl Salma was in the Klingon Empire working on some meetings with the House of Duras – his greatest nemesis by the way – in the hopes of expanding her business. Well after a few drinks with me and the guys, we kinda worked it out that she must be getting used by the Duras clan in some kind of plot against Karr. So we headed out as soon as possible to intercept her before any harm could come to her.

It took us about a week to get there – during the entire trip we rode Karr pretty hard about his ‘affair’ with Salma. Gotta say, seein’ a Klingon blush can be pretty hilarious. When we arrived at Qu’onos, Karr tried to contact Salma – I tried to have Spevak lock on the other end of the transmission with the transporters so that we could just snatch her and get the hell outta Dodge, but that didn’t work out quite so well. In the time it took us to get to the dismal center of the Klingon Empire, she’d traveled to Khitomer – another ass end of the Empire, only this time with Romulans (or Points as Crazy Eight calles them)!

Karr finally contacted Salma and asked us to transport down with him to meet her. As it turned out, she’d warned him about wasting her time and threatened to kill him if he did – Karr of course ignored this particular development and failed to mention it to the rest of us, so blissfully unaware, away we went.

The reception committee was a pleasant octet of Klingon ‘warriors’ – really they were just a bunch of rent-a-cops with delusions of grandeur. We eventually got through customs and met with Salma and her retinue of heavily armed and armored ladies. That’s when the rest of us (myself, Alyr, and Thuku) found out about her threat. Karr and Salma traded words and jibes, and then the duel began – I said before that this honor thing is a waste of time, and I still think I’m right. There we were, about to watch two old friends try to kill each other over a total misunderstanding – makes no sense whatsoever.

Anyway, before any of us really knew what was happening (by us I mean Alyr, Thuku, Karr, or me), Salma had stabbed Karr with a knife, which then became some sort of plasma sword or something. Then the fight began! At one point Karr hit her so hard that he snapped her arm – the bone just seemed to sprout from her limb! At some point, Alyr just drew his pistols and went to work, blasting two of Salma’s guards before they could even react (the man might be a Lothario, but he’s an absolute artist when it comes to gunplay). Thuku and I joined in (after taking cover) and I even managed to land a shot myself; my new handcannon is a lotta fun!

It wasn’t long before the Klingon welcoming committee got involved, and things were looking kinda grim – some sort of energy discharge had taken out our pistols, which meant hand-to-hand with huge angry men with turtle-shelled foreheads (not something one normally wishes to partake in). Fortunately, our crews were on the ball, which we discovered when we materialized first in one transporter room, and then a second one a moment later. (Hey, I said our crews were on the ball – I didn’t say they were talking to each other.)

I immediately ran for the Glory Road so I could generate a quick vector to get us the hell away from there. Thanos must’ve been doing some fancy flying to stop us from being hit – and since we made it safely to Drozana Station, it must’ve worked. Alyr and Thuku had gotten Karr and Salma to the infirmary so their wounds could be stabilized and treated.

Later, Alyr and I were talking to Karr about how things had gone down. Karr was a bit upset at our interference in his ‘honor duel’, but to hell with that! I wasn’t about to watch him die or kill his friend; if Alyr hadn’t acted when he did, I was about to. To make matters worse though (at least in Karr’s eyes) was that we’d just shot down Salma’s best friends and abducted her. He didn’t know how he was going to explain any of it to her, or make up with her. To this dilemma, I suggested giving her a Nebari Mind Cleanser; this was a drink Jella had told me about – basically it’d make her forget the last few days. Problem solved, I thought, but then Karr just laughed. Alyr and I must’ve looked a little puzzled at his reaction, ‘cause he just looked at us and said "She’s a telepath". I was just staring at him, trying to work out this new twist when Alyr slapped my on the shoulder and said “We could all drink one!”

Now, we’re at Drozana Station, with no recollection of the last few days, but it must’ve been one hell of a good time – although I don’t have a hangover and my mivonks don’t hurt, so it couldn’t have been that good of a time, if you know what I’m sayin’. Still, Salma and Karr are in the infirmary – she’s been beaten pretty bad (coupla busted ribs and and a broken arm), and he’s obviously been stabbed with a hot poker or some such weapon. Nobody on the ship seems to know what’s happened either, but hell, we’re all alive and at a pretty fun place to be.

Guess it’s time to start working on the next caper or two.

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Matt's Personal Log - Episode 28 - What Actually Happened

Star Trek Late Night StephenWollett