Matt's Personal Log - Episode 27

Well we got that old Klingon fart to Drozana and good riddance! Of course the station and sector were just crawling with Feds and other ‘law-and-order’ types, all due to the Sisco Arms Show. We hung around for a couple of days, browsing as it were, but the crew of the Glory Road were getting antsy; bet the other crews were as well. Me and the guys started talking about what to do next – see, I’d asked Chaani to reach out to some old contacts of hers to see what she could find out about the Gamma Quadrant, in case we wanted to head toward that singularity, but so far she’s struck out. Instead, we decided to give some piracy a go, seeing as how we were all getting low on coin and we all still had a strong urge to eat.

After some research, we settled on the idea of getting in some R&P by hitting a cruise liner figuring that’d be the softest target with the best potential payout. I happened upon one which was transporting the cast and crew of an entertainment company bound for Risa, where they’d be shooting the next in the T&A series, Callgirl of Cthulhu (T&A standing for ‘tentacles and asses’), being directed by the famed Bolian director Inju. As it turned out, Karr had found out about two Federation Senators who were also on the cruiser to go to Risa – they were heading there to pay off Risa to get them to rejoin the Federation and to remove the Romulan presence so deep in Federation territory (but that’s politics, and mostly boring).

Our plan went nearly perfect – the biggest hitch was Karr shorting out his warp destabilizer on the first pass, but he’d done enough to drop the target out of FTL. As soon as it did, we all swarmed in for the takedown, but the captain of this cruise ship must’ve thought he was Patton reincarnated, ‘cause he decided to make a fight of it instead of striking his colors (or some reasonable facsimile in a space battle). Now, he only had one phaser bank (though his shields were fairly impressive for a civilian vessel), and he was facing four armed pirate raiders, one of which was a DKora that easily outgunned him alone. But Captain G. Willie Overkill felt he owed it to his ’honor’ to get a large portion of his crew killed before inevitably getting killed himself and his ship surrendering (under the wisdom of the First Officer) to clearly superior opponents.

We raided the ship, all the while watching what we though was it’s escort return. I gotta tell you, I was getting pissed! There were no passengers, only cargo – yeah, film equipment can be lucrative, but come on! Where were the starlets?! A T&A production meant they’d be big on loomers and short on brainwaves (a fact proven some time later when we finally found the stars of the production, one of whom proceeded to partake in a bit of stuffit with Alyr on the bridge in front of myself and remaining crew of the other ship, but I’m getting ahead of myself).

Anyway, long story a little shorter, as I aluded to just now, the returning ship was the sister cruise liner to the one we hit, and the one carrying the people for the production. We ambushed them right good, and at least this captain wasn’t some bakebrain and immediately surrendered. We pillaged what we could, but since there were ships en route to answer the distress beacon being put out by our first target, so we warped off as soon as we’d gotten everything we felt we could and still get away.

We had intended to hit a mining colony as well, but in the end decided against it until we can come up with a better plan than putting our mivonks in a vice and hoping for the best. We made it back to Citadel and sold the loot – we got into a small misunderstanding on how to divie up the ill-booten gotty (primarily because of my ill-conceived attempt to cheat Thanos), but in the end agreed to split all loot equally among all the people in our crews. This resulted in each memeber of our crew (including me and the other captains) receiving a princely sum of just under 400 slips of GPL. Who says crime doesn’t pay?

I just noticed the datachip outlining the data I’d happened upon regarding the planet Rowge, dealing with the Templar fortune, so I’ll think I’ll sign off now and re-examine that info. I think I just may know where we’ll be heading to next.

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Matt's Personal Log - Episode 27

Star Trek Late Night StephenWollett