Campaign of the Month: January 2012
Star Trek Late Night
Alyr's Personal log - Episode 36
Oh man did I do it to myself this time. My head is killing me and the smell in my room is something else. What the hell did I eat last night? High One, how much did I drink? Must have been those Pan Galactic things. Oh dren, it’s already recording. Um… Right… Uhhh… Where the frell did I leave off? Let me see…
Okay, so we left the planet and headed for the famed casino. I contacted the team and they were still there and told me where to hook up with them. We docked and had some breakfast and a couple drinks; even tried something that made my face numb. I asked the fella’s what they had been up to and they filled me in on a really cool sounding chess match, a blob pool of enlightenment, and of course, the oracle competition that everyone has heard so much about. After a bit of chit chat, I told the guys that I wanted to try out the ooze pool. Sounded a lot like mushrooms and I was due for a little trip.
On the way to the pool, I played some slot thing to make sure that I got my daily gambling requirement in, and I checked into a room as part of another requirement. We went down to the pool and got into the buff because they weren’t kidding, that dren was a thick, black, sludgy ooze. It was pretty gross but I was already anticipating the rush. I was not prepared for what I saw. There may have been some hallucinations but I believe that my conscience was actually spread wide across the universe. I saw so many things that it’s hard put down the experience. And as my head is already throbbing I won’t try it right now. Suffice it to say, it was a trip worth taking and one I plan to do again. I only wish I could get Becky to join us. She sees it as drugs and doesn’t want anything to do with it.
After the pool we got cleaned up and dressed and went on to look for some more fun to get into. At lunch I asked one of the staff where I could get into a death match in order to get entered into the lottery. She spouted out a few options but the one I liked best was the statues. It’s a shooting competition where you square off against a living statue. I figured I could win that easily. Nobody outguns Alyr Cutter BABY! Ouch, my head…
So I signed on to the room and the guy asked me how many rounds I wanted to go. I, of course, said give me the lot. It was me after all, and shooting was the game. He asked “All 12? Are you sure?” That’s where normal people say “Hmmm… Is there something I should know?” You know, normal people, as in, not me. Nope, I said “Yeah baby, all 12. Let’s do this thing.” I then told the guys to make sure they put their money down and I gave Matt a bar of Latinum (my last one) to put down on me.
Groovy right? Wrong. Here’s what happened next…
I stepped into the room and the guy said that no one has ever won all 12. I thought, not good. Then he said that the statues mimic our shots and they go off simultaneously. I thought, even worse. He said that each statue’s weapon would become more powerful as I leveled up. He then told me that if I missed I would be killed. So, let’s break this down. I couldn’t out shoot the thing because it was as good as me. If I were to hit, it would also hit. I couldn’t take it out before it got a shoot off because it fired as fast as I did. I couldn’t miss or I would die.
The hit was easy; only a nube would’ve missed at that range. I basically had to survive 12 hits from these things to make it. Or come up with some other way to survive this. Believe it or not, yours truly was a little worried.
The first round about did me in. I went for a head shot and nailed the thing dead on. Fortunately, the thing was throwing stars and I was able to get my gun up in the way to deflect the star. However, it was dicey. I barely made it and if it had been any type of modern ranged attack, I would have been missing a hand and a head. This was not going to be a workable strategy; not if I wanted to make it. First round went to me. I hit the thing and survived the round.
In round two I decided to try something new. Using my leaping trick, I would jump as I fired, making it more difficult for the thing to hit me. I also made sure to hit areas that I was more likely to survive. This turned out to work. For the next 11 I kept doing this and managed to score a hit every time. I was hit twice more but my armor, my choice of hit location, and some luck helped greatly. I came out of the competition with no real injuries and was the first man in history to take the entire thing. Because of the built up bets over the years, I walked away with over 27 million. I was rich again. Not as rich as before but still damn rich. That’s a good thing to be in a casino.
After that we went to the bar to celebrate. I spent a ton of money on the people in the bar and I partied like I haven’t in some time. I started drinking those Pan Galactic things and that, my friends, is what brought my party to a screeching halt. It all goes black from there and I’m assuming that Becky got me back to my room in one piece.
That’s where we are now. My frelling head is pounding and I feel like Thanos’s punching bag. I’m going to get something greasy and then maybe crawl back into bed.