Alyr's Personal Log - Episode 1

Man, how I love to hate this place.

I had pulled an all nighter over at some friend of Becky’s. Becky had been working on a documentary about this place so a couple of us were hanging with her to help brainstorm on ideas of things we should cover. I got back to my closet in the bar and got a little shuteye.

When I awoke, everybody was gone and the bar was closed. So, I caught a quick shower, grabbed my goggles and mask, and headed out. I caught up with the boys who were heading down to see a fight between Gunner Simmons and Brother Sum. I put down 30 on Brother Sum, going for the long shot. That freak of nature Gunner wore the dude down by letting him beat the ever lovin’ dren out of him. So much for that 30.

Later we headed down to Der Rathskeller. Now I wouldn’t have gone because it’s underground but It’s in a wide open space. It was a little unnerving but not too bad after a little bit. Especially since their were so many people around. When we got to the bar it was kinda nice. They had a single elimination match going on. We checked out some of the fighters. Karr and I both liked the look of this Klingon chick so we decided that she’d be a good bet.

And then out of nowhere, some chick jumped me. She was looking for a high hard one and her man was willing to pay to watch. I took the 20 he gave me and had Karr bet it on the Klingon for me. I frelled that little witch like their was no tomorrow. If they were paying, I was obliged to give her my all. She took it in the mouth and the two of them shared it. Good thing for them I’d had that sweet fruit salad for lunch instead of that curry dish I was going to get.

I got to the fight just in time to see my 20 slip away. I gotta’ stop betting on things that I’m not actually part of. The Klingon fought well but she went down about 3/4 of the way in. She was taken out by some Nausicaan. Then, of course, he raped her right in the ring. This doesn’t generally bother me as I have grown accustomed to prison life and being around Karr. However, Nausicaans are so frelling ugly. It’s like someone beat a Klingon with an ugly stick. And the smell. Ugh. Klingons smell bad but they got nothing on these guys. Hell, Tarak turned down some during one of our crew resupplies. He told them he only hired people with Syndicate experience but later he told me he just couldn’t take them stinking up his ship.

Other than that freaky couple it was a crappy night. I was spent and decided to hit the sheets.

The next morning I got up and did my ritual: jerk, dren, and shower. When I headed out, Tarak was getting the help to go pick up some slaves and musical instruments. He asked me to go along. Probably so they didn’t screw it up.

We got down to the market and made a pretty good score. Bunch of slaves and musical instruments. I would have liked to have gotten into the little Bajoran we brought back but Tarak had eyes for her and I don’t want to cross one of my brothers like that.

While we were out, we ran into some cat named Zurik. He, oh wait, she’s one of those freaky aliens from the other galaxy. She was a little misleading at first but put out a good offer to go into the mines for some info collection. I wasn’t about to set foot into that place but the money was damn good. Jacen figured the bitch was trying to scam us and got into a big argument with her. She rolled out but forgot her map. Jacen thought it would be a good idea to get to whatever she had found first. Seems he’s sneakier than I gave him credit for. I think I’m starting to like this guy.

We rolled out, picked up some supplies, and hired a mental patient to guide us into the mines. She was a fruit cake alright but a damn good guide. We got to the destination in no time. I have to admit, I have not been in a cave for a mighty long time and I was freaked the frell out. I kept my cool though. I couldn’t let the other guys know I was creaped out. Oh, and lets not forget to mention the freaky ass cave crickets and what was up with those biting cave gnats; or what ever the hell they were. I was covered in welts when I got back and some sort of rash on my neck.

Anyway, we hit the mother load. We found a working communication station and an industrial replicator. It didn’t have much juice left but we were able to make some Orion disrupters and communicators.

We frelled around a little too long though because some Jem’Hadar showed up with one of those scumbag Vortas. It was dicey for a few moments but we managed to parley and come to a working agreement. We made friends with them, as well as you can on this drenhole, and we formulated the beginnings of an escape plan. They have info that can get us past that Federation ship in orbit provided we come up with a ship to do it in.

I manged to make contact with Corsair who said he’d come get us but he was about a month out. We made plans to hook up with our new friends again in a month, said our good byes, and headed back to the surface.

Crazy Eight said that we’d need to take a different way back because the way we came in was far too dangerous. I was going to ask why we had come in that way but I have learned not to ask crazy people why they do things. It always ends in my eye twitching. Anyway, we were a couple hours into the trek back and ran up against a cave-in. Frell.

Not the biggest deal. We’d doubled back and take a slightly longer route to the surface. Along the way their was an explosion which resulted in another cave-in about a half an hour down the tunnel. Double frell. Trapped like rats. My phobia kicked in and I lost it. The adrenalin kicked in and I started pulling rocks from the pile like a madman. It took us a while but we managed to get through.

However, it’s Zebeck Demise my friend so the fun never stops! Jacen was the first to go through the opening followed by Karr and then me. By the time I got to the other side their was was some sort of mechanical thing and it was shooting plasma and hit Jacen. Karr had jumped on its back and was stabbing wildly. He’s such a typical Klingon.

I focused and started the quivering palm technique. If they could keep it busy for a few seconds I would be able to take it out. But, just as I was about to go all hero-like, Jacen hit that thing with a lightning blast. Yup, I could have made a diamond from some coal in my sphincter pucker. A frellin’ sith bastard. That explained his sneakiness. I’d be keeping my eye on him from there on out. Man, how I love to hate this place.

Well, it’s getting late and I have had waaay too much Kanar. I’ll tell you all about how we got out next time. I’ll even buy the first round.

Alyr's Personal Log - Episode 1

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