Alyr's Personal Log - Episode 32

Well, that went about a drenning well as it could have. We managed to frell ourselves once again. This whole pirate badass thing is just not working for me. I’m not good at working with people outside of a well defined structure. As a loner I excel. I’m really good at surviving and looking out for myself. However, when anyone else is allowed to talk, they fail to trust my cunning. Even if I explain to them what I’m doing. I know I’m a little crazy, and I know I take big chances but I also always get away with it. These guys just don’t get my technique. They always want to go into every situation head on like an Orion Kelznik Hound. They just don’t get it and I don’t think they ever will.

Anyway, we spoke with the Starfleet crew and they seemed ok enough. Lt. Kira was a little hottie and I laid down some of the old Alyr, er Crix charm. We were headed into town to do some drinking and I know I had her into it. Figured I’d wake with some Bajoran stank on my downlow. However, one of the frellheads up top probably pulled the cockblock on me and they never showed.

We found a cool place, little dirty, but the crowd was into us. We partied late and ate our fill. I’m starting to appreciate “real” food a little more. I have been forced to eat all sorts of dren in the past several years and I’m starting to see the elegance in the diversity of cooked meals. Does that mean I’m growing as a person? Maybe. Sorry, I’m getting all philosophical in my old age. So as not to disappoint you, I did manage to pull some tail at this little shindig. Granted, she was a big, ugly mound of a woman. She was the only woman in the place and she had a desperate need for some attention. I’m a good guy at heart, so I filled that need and gave her the works. To my surprise, she knew how to please a man and could go all night. What the hell, I’ve frelled worse. At least this old girl would appreciate it.

I returned to the boat and we set out. Spirits were high and while we were worried about comrades out in the black, we were on track. And then it started to go off the rails. We got to our commandeered ship and it was back under the command of Starfleet. I didn’t really care, considering we didn’t purchase it, we didn’t fight for it, and we didn’t leave anyone behind to keep it. However, Matt lost his dren over the whole thing. I mean who cares, we already have a ship. Matt argued with the new captain and without Thanos or I really backing him he stormed off. We rolled back to our ship and started to head out.

The captain up top wanted an explanation so I talked to him and asked to beamed up in order to keep Matt’s big frelling mouth out of the conversation. If I let him talk we’d probably be eating a photon torpedo for breakfast.

I was beamed up and escorted to a ready room where I was told to wait. While in there, I jumped into their system and checked out their ship. It was a nice ship, state of the art. I wouldn’t knew right then and there that I wanted her. I just had to convince the other guys that she was worth taking and that we could do it.

They came in and we talked. First matter of business was our crew. Becky and Karr were doing well and were on a strong road to recovery. I also managed to talk them into scanning for us so that we might find this temple. I think I worked it so that they would allow us to keep what we found as long as we shared all of the information with them. They get the glory, we get the gold. I think that’s fair. I mean the Federation doesn’t even use money for frell’s sake. Why would they care about treasure anyway? They did want to send down a few crew members to travel with us and I figured it would be no big deal. They said that they’d beam them down when we got close.

I have a real talent for this I tell ya’. Should have been a Starfleet captain myself. Maybe if I’m ever able to clear my name and get back into societies good graces, I’ll become one of those overpaid diplomats or ambassadors.

I beamed back down and Matt started giving me a hard time. He didn’t like the deals I was cutting. Even though I was getting us everything we needed at no cost to us. Something is off with him and I’m concerned. Which leads me to my next bit.

Somewhere along this journey, I’m fuzzy on when exactly, Matt and I got into it. The dude went absolutely off the frelling handle. His wick was lit and he started flipping out on me. I had an open communicator with the guys up top and he started spilling everything. My name, my thoughts about taking their ship, the fact that I hacked into their system, all of it. Then he started calling me out. So I told him that we should settle this. I have gutted men for less. Hell, if this had been Denchar, I would have had to have “made an example” of him by now. And don’t ask what that means. Put it this way, Karr is looking over my shoulder as I’m recording this and he’s smiling and nodding, and holding himself…

Anyway, so I called Matt out. Right there, right then. And the dumb freller went for his gun. What an idiot. He should have hit me, or pulled a knife. But no, he went for his gun. Dumn frell wad had it about a third of the way out of his holster before I pulled and beamed on across his brow. I thought I wanted to kill him. I really did. But at the last moment, my better nature guided my hand a little to the left and I gave him a little sunburn instead. He finally managed to manhandle his weapon loose and pointed it at me. However, I could see the rage starting to give way so I asked him if that’s really what he wanted to do. We talked each other down and I think we’re good now.

Right about now is when the captain up top chirped in on the STILL OPEN communicator. Frell! I could tell he was not amused but he must really want what’s down below because we managed to smooth it over for the moment. We won’t be taking that ship now for sure. Now that he knows that I have eyes for her, he’ll be ready. The element of surprise, the only thing we really had going for us, is now gone. Damn, I really wanted that ship.

Due to our awkward new relationship with the boys up top, they decided not to send anyone down with us and I had them beam down Becky and Karr.

We, uh they, eventually found the temple and we prepared to go below to see what we could find. They started getting a submergible shuttle ready for us to go down. Matt, Mr. Impulse himself, convinced Piazu to make an air bubble and go down below before the shuttle got to us. I thought it was dumb but whatever might not be bad to be the first to get a look at things.

Unfortunately, only Piazu came up. Apparently, our resident genius, decided to continue on into the temple by himself ahead of us. Frellwad. I hope a shark eats him. I’d jump in and go get him. I can hold my breath for a really long time and I could probably out swim anyone on all of the crews combined. However, according to Piazu if he didn’t find air by now, he was already dead. I figured we could scoop the body up in the shuttle if that were so.

Well, that’s about it for now. We are waiting for the shuttle to arrive and we’ll go meet up with Mr. Angry, Dead or Alive.

Oh, by the way, good news. Karr is up and about and I think the weasels are finally gone.

Alyr's Personal Log - Episode 32

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