The ship is gone, the crew dead. Not really much left to tell. We screwed up. I think I am done with Starfleet.

I’m not really sure how to compile this entry, but here goes… we’d gotten back from the trinary system’s gateways. Since her lady hadn’t had the courtesy to stick around, Pia had come back to the Odyssey with us, and I was showing her around. Life was getting back to normal, and then the ship was being attacked. I can tell you with absolute certainty that being a passenger on a ship in combat sucks! Next thing I know, everyone’s been told to abandon ship and I was headed for an escape pod. When the smoke cleared, we were on a rather nice planet, apparently a Bajoran colony, probably for the rest of our lives, so we had that going for us. Except this planet was being invaded by whatever had just taken out the ship, so…

Then I felt the unnerving feeling of being transported and soon found myself on a ship – a familiar one crewed by Andorians and captained by the nutcase of a woman that had originally abducted me… ‘overwhelmed’ does not begin to cover my feelings at that point.

She had a proposition – do a job for her and she’d help us restore the Odyssey by taking us back to a point where we could change the outcome. Whatever, that sounded good to me. Bahb was going to be in charge, and he seemed more stubborn than usual in justifying this mission, even in the face of Tivna’s objections to tampering with the ‘Temporal Prime Directive’. Again, whatever.

The job we had to do for Madame Mindfuck was simple enough – steal a runabout. She took us back to the trinary system and teleported us down to intercept an away team. What we didn’t know was that we had also transferred to something Bahb referred to as the ‘Mirror Verse’, where people were supposed to be more evil. I was still brain-fried, so when the away team showed up consisting of Bahb and Kevas it didn’t really phase me too much; Bahb – the one I’d shown up with – gave the go ahead and I opened up. Buncha dead away team. Then, since there wasn’t a duplicate of me or Tivna, we used the Chewbacca Gambit to return to the ship. That led to me an Tivna being taken away for interrogation (read as tortured) while the other two went to get the ship.

Agonizer booths are not something I’d recommend for trial – there is no way to adequately describe the level of pain you endure in one. And I do mean endure – since there’s no actual damage being done to your body, it can just keep going on and on and on. Thankfully, Tivna’s part Vulcan so she had the wherewithal to resist for the period we were in the booths, which wasn’t long. Being an ‘Augment’ is good for some things and resisting torture is one of them. I managed to break out and kill the two guards who were there – Kevas might not have approved but screw it. I got Tivna out, plus another Vulcan in a booth who didn’t deserve to be there as far as I was concerned. Then Tivna led us to the shuttle bay via the Jeffries Tubes and we hooked up with the other two and made our escape in the Runabout. They had made our escape a little easier with a little ‘experimental engineering’, so adios fuckers!

When we got back to Nutjob, we turned over the ship and got down to our business. This was a little easier to pull off – we simply got sent down to the control room on the ice planet and waited. When Barre showed up – after assaulting Bahb and escaping through the gateway from the station – we simply lit him up. (Seemed to me like Bahb took particular joy in that, but it might’ve been my imagination.) Well, whatever temporal mechanics stuff happened, we found ourselves slapped back into our own bodies as the timeline re-asserted itself into our reality. After that, all we had to do was run through some events we’d already done and get back to the Odyssey.

There have been some noticeable changes though: Barre never made it back, so we can’t question him (nor was I really interested in what he had to say); this time, we managed to reunite Pia with her ladyship, Milano, so she went back to her home; and we discovered the unconscious Vulcan female in the control room on the ice planet when we got back, so we took her to the medical facility on the ship where she’s recovering from the ordeal of the agonizer booths, and I’ve been working with her with regard to being in a new universe. She seems resilient enough, though she is a bit wary of the Doc.

Tivna and Bahb have taken steps to make sure we don’t even get close to the distress call that brought us near those aliens invading the Gideon colony, so I don’t know how that’s gonna turn out, other than ‘not good’

I’m sure I don’t want just anyone reading this, so I’m going to lock it with a secure access code.

End log entry.

Life can be very strange sometimes it will throw you a curve ball that are completely unexpected. I often use metaphors in my explanations of things and this metaphor is very pertinent because it comes from a game called baseball a human game that I have recently become aware of. In this game you have a man who throws a ball at another man with a bad tries to hit the ball. A curveball isn’t wonderful active physics. The ball is thrown from the picture towards the man with the bad cold the bathroom at the West second football clothes away from him. How was active physics works is quite extraordinary but it is not what we are talking about today. Today we are Are talking about wife and feet and how strange things happen. As you know I am a temporal specialist. As a temporal specialist I study time and the intricacies of the universe. So when something strange happens and I am given the choice to travel through time and fix it I can’t help myself I have to fix it. This I know it was a violation of the Temporal prime directive. But is it truly a violation if either temporal events led up to this moment?

So I had tons of logs written and I have deleted them because the events that happened in those logs have never actually happened. Time Trump was such a strange strange thing.

Bishop told us about a crazy woman in a ship traveling with a bunch of Andorians. I honestly just thought he was making it up. Now I have met the crazy woman and I am uncertain as to what just happened. With the help of the crazy woman I am a small group of other Starfleet officers travel backwards through time stopped an atrocity and saved the lives of every person on our crew.

Now we are moving forward in a new timeline and I am certain that things have changed. I can only worry about the possibilities but I will not let this worry bother me for I am certain that the saving of my crew is more important than whatever comes our way. And plus side this event has been closer to another crew member and I think a Relationship may be for me. We shall see.

I finally got tapped for an away mission, and I think it went pretty well! The Odyssey had left the vicinity of space station spooky and we were continuing on a mission of exploring the quadrant when BAM! It was like the ship had his a sandbar, and I guess that’s the closest thing to what had actually happened. A buildup of tetryons on the shields had reached dangerous levels and the ship had to perform an emergency exit from warp. There were minor injuries all over the ship, but no serious casualties.

We found ourselves in what HAD to be an engineered star system – three stars orbiting equidistantly from their center of gravity, all orbited by six planets: a hot rock, three small low-atmo earth-like planets, and two big gas giants. The three earth-like planets were sharing an orbit, and were equidistantly placed. In addition, one was predominantly arctic, one desert, and the last one was jungle. Like I said, no doubt this system had been engineered and it was screaming Prothean to me.

Kyron was leading this away team, and he tapped myself, the Doc, a civilian archaeologist by the name of Banks, a Starfleet physicist named V’Lur, and a young security officer, Chan. Our task was to check out some ruins that had been detected on the planet; those ruins were giving off some sort of emission aimed at the three stars and causing the tetryon buildup in that part of the sector. Until we figured out how to either shut whatever down or destroy it, we weren’t going anywhere, at least at warp speed. Oh, and I forgot to mention, the class six ion storm building in the system meant we were on a time limit.

We shuttled down – rough landing – and had to hike across the tundra in a storm; not exactly fun when it feels like you’re three klicks high, but we did it. Banks suffered the most on the trip, but Doc shot him up with some triox compound and set him right. The ruins were old, and not exactly Prothean in nature. Old though, and Banks suggested they were from some race called the T’kon, which I’d never heard of. But time was wasting, so we took readings and headed deeper to find the source of the emissions – a room with a massive parabolic dish and two ‘gateways’ to the other two earth-like planets’ emission room.

A third gateway led to someplace else – since I was the only one with a vacuum capable suit I checked that one out – I think it was some station and I know it was a different system, as evidenced by the large blue star it was orbiting. I took some readings and got back to the team. Kyron and Chan had already started figuring out how to shut everything down when we got ambushed. A buncha stinkin’ vorcha of all things – there’s no way that vermin should be in this part of space!

We took care of business, and I got the okay to find the vorcha warren while Starfleet got back to work on the emitter. Tracking vorcha isn’t the most pleasant of jobs in nice terrain, and in arctic ruins it just sucks! Luckily for me, one of them had escaped after being shot, so I had a blood trail to follow. Don’t know if that was a good thing or not – when I found the warren, it was being attacked by some automotons with some hefty energy weapons. I got the hell outta there, but not before one of them saw me. Four of them tracked me back to the away team and we got into another firefight – Doc got banged up pretty bad but V’Lur patched him up.

Time was running out, so Kyron and Chan got back to work and pulled off a miracle. They managed to shut down all three emitters with just under an hour to spare. No emitters meant no tetryons, so we can leave whenever the Captain says so. Looks like we’re going to be sticking around in this system for a little while, though, while we wait for Starfleet to send a dedicated research team to thoroughly check out these ruins.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 189.1
Location: Alpha Quadrant
The Alpha Quadrant is always such an interesting place. The Odyssey is huge and is taking us into a relatively unexplored expanse. I am settling into my new job and am uncertain how well I shall get along with the Captain. He seems a bit overly serious. My staff seems solid and I still need to find an assistant. Maybe I will take an officer but with the cadet corp on board, maybe a cadet would be a good choice.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 189.2
Location: Alpha Quadrant
I love the holodecks on this ship. They are huge and my programs are working nicely. I have put together a team to play NeverWinter Nights. The Doc is playing a thief, I am a paladin, Josey is playing an archer, and Margrew is playing a Cleric. We need a mage but at the moment seem to be doing well. Currently we are pounding our way through an orc army. Unfortunately I am being paged to the bridge.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 189.3
Location: Alpha Quadrant
It seems we have picked up a distress signal from a Starfleet outpost. There is no recorded outpost here or at least there wasn’t until I did a deep dive. Looking at the records it appears that our system was edited while I was searching. This makes no sense.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 189.4
Location: Alpha Quadrant
I put together a team of me along with the doc, an engineer, and a couple of security people. We beamed over and were met by the station chief and a Lt. They claimed that no distress signal was sent. We offered to look at their communication gear to see what happened. The Lt. was given to us as a guide. As we explored the station we saw many problems. As our engineer fixed things that were not broken but were broken. I am logging this way to show just how incredible this place was, but it seemed we were hallucinating. I saw things that will haunt me forever. I saw myself melt. I saw myself explode. I saw walls where doors were. I saw a man who was alive and dead and alive and dead all at the same time. I felt that I was going insane and my crew was too. We got off the station and reported.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 189.5
Location: Alpha Quadrant
The station was being affected by a spacial anomaly that was detected and later destroyed by the station’s chief of science. Unfortunately it left behind a massive amount of Dream Particles. These particles respond to the sapient mind and manifest those thoughts as reality. A very dangerous combination of things were happening. The chief of security wanted to blow the station up. I wanted to save everyone. The captain gave in on a compromise. I had six hours.

I was certain the problem originated from the anomaly. I took a fighter with bishop to investigate. As we were looking around alien ships attacked. I wanted to scream “they are not real!” but they could kill us so I shut my mouth and helped Bishop to do what he needed to in order to save us.

The Doc along with my science team back on the Odyssey figured out how to adjust phasers to destroy the particles. Bishop went to town and destroyed the cluster at our location. MY time was up and we had no safe answer to the problem. The Captain ordered the station and all hands to be destroyed. A sad day for all of us.

We’re underway, into what Starfleet calls the Alpha Quadrant and headed back towards where I came from. The Odyssey is supposed to be a fast ship, but these Starfleet vessels will never compare to frame-shift – it’s gonna be a while ‘til we get to where we’re going. And I’m not even sure we have a destination in mind.

Funny thing, watching a ship go to work instead of being one of the people working. The crew seems like a good one, if a bit stiff at times. I suppose I’m used to a more casual atmosphere aboard ship, but I’ve also never worked one with a crew that tops a thousand; I suppose it could be difficult to remember everyone’s name. And that’s not even including the civilian crew members (like me) or the families that are on board. This is gonna be a different kinda experience for me.

I spend a lot of my day keeping active – gotta stay fit. There’s a cadet corps on board and sometimes I hang out with them when they’re doing a run. Rest of my exercise is in one of the gyms. I’ve found I also have to do some studying, learning these ship systems – to do that I help out in engineering and working on whatever maintenance crews they’ll let me – mostly I’m observing and I’m not allowed to work on some systems (for security reasons), but it fills the day. The rest of my time is spent relaxing and getting to know the people around me.

SUPPLEMENTAL

I think something’s up, judging by the way some of the crew is acting. I can see through the windows we’ve arrived near a station of some sort, Starfleet if I’m to judge by the design. Odd that, since we’re supposed to be heading into a quadrant that hasn’t been explored by Starfleet yet.

SUPPLEMENTAL

Well, evidently someone from the Federation has gotten here before us. We’ve answered a distress call, but I can’t see any signs of combat – might be medical in nature. I’ve found out Bahb’s taking Kevaz and a couple of others over to the station – I volunteered to help out, but was denied by the XO. Guess I understand; I’m more a pilot and shooter, and the andorian that went over to the station looked like a gropo. If the mission’s medical in nature, you shouldn’t need more than one.

SUPPLEMENTAL

I don’t know what went on at that station but the Odyssey got out of that system in a hurry. We’ve stopped a few parsecs away and plans seem to be in motion to help the station’s crew, even though we just left them behind. Gotta check with some people, see what’s going on.

SUPPLEMENTAL

Just got back from a sortie. Starfleet service isn’t as boring as I thought it would be. There’s some kind of spatial phenomenon happening near the station, one that’s allowing people’s thoughts to impact on reality. Sounds like sci-fi, right? Only when I flew Bahb over to the vicinity, we got ambushed by some Hunter-Killers, from Wildspace back home. That’s not possible, not this far away (at least I hope so, they shouldn’t have spread this far, not yet). My guess is I was thinking about the last time I’d encountered any of ‘em and then we got hit. See, I was flying Bahb out there in a fighter, and the last time I was in a craft that sleek and lethal I’d run into an H-K raiding band. Same thing happened here. This anomaly thing must’ve been true is all I can come up with. Oh, and it wasn’t an illusion either – our little ship took real damage in that little dust-up, something I got an earful over later on.

It was something to watch, all these squints trying to figure out a way to counter the effects of that phenomenon. To try and save the crew of that station. In the end though, it was all for nought. The Captain had to destroy the station to limit the spread of whatever effect the ‘fractured space-time’ had done to the crews’ minds. Closing the rift hadn’t worked, the station’s crew had already done that long before we’d gotten there. But the effects stayed on and continued to spread. Kevaz (and the rest of the medical staff I’d assume) has determined there’s no danger from the team that went over to the station; they weren’t exposed long enough to the effects. I got a clean bill of health too, so that’s good news.

End Log

I’ve finally arrived at the station DS9, which apparently wasn’t created by Starfleet, but instead had been captured in an earlier war, or something to that effect. Doesn’t really matter, it’s got decent size and room to move around in, plenty of places to go and people to meet, and a few more things to do than are normally found aboard a ship.

The Odyssey was about a week behind us, so I was gonna have plenty of time to rest up and get to know some of the crew I was supposed to be working with. And then Bahb happened; he’s an egghead, have I mentioned? I had asked Tivna out for a drink, and we wound up at a place called ’Quark’s’, on the main promenade of the station. We ran into a friend of Tivna’s, an engineering lieutenant, Tiffany Sommers, and were just settling in to order some food when Bahb walked over with a proposition. He’d been running some calculations about that wormhole that had brought me halfway across the galaxy and thought he’d determined an appearance of one in a ‘nearby’ system. He thought I might be interested (I was) and next thing I knew we had a road trip planned.

Tiffany wanted to go, but Tivna thought it was a bad idea – seems she had a better understanding of the kinda crap Bahb gets into. I’m just gonna say that he likes to run right up to the edge of breaking the rules, and then take a step across when he thinks nobody’s looking. Then we ran into Chani and she decided to come along too.

Two days later we’re in the system Bahb located – binary stars with three asteroid rings. We were taking sensor scans and hoping to witness a wormhole. Success! It fucking opened right on top of us and then we were gone, off to what might have been the same two stars, only this system had no asteroids and five planets, one of which was rather close. Then we hit the mountain.

Kyron had been in the cockpit, and actually managed to minimize the damage – though I suppose if he hadn’t I wouldn’t be making this log entry, would I? We started repairs and were contacted by a ship that had witnessed our accident. They offered to send down a shuttle to help out, but Starfleet officers apparently don’t accept aid, so we took the time, made our repairs, and headed into orbit to meet our neighbors.

The ship was the USS Reliant, of the Planetary Union. True to his word, Bahb had found a wormhole to take us to another dimension – it wasn’t where I was from, but he considered the whole thing to be a success anyhow. We made ‘first contact’ (even though they were from Earth), attended a party in our honor, and made some friends. They told us about the Union, we told them about the Federation, and then their enemies, the Krill showed up, right around the time the last wormhole that could take us home was going to appear. Life’s never easy, is it?

Starfleet did their science thing and did something with the deflector to get the wormhole to open early – good thing, too, since the Reliant was engaging three Krill vessels on our behalf, and could only hold their attention for so long. One of the cruisers split off to target us, but this time I was at the controls. I managed to evade most of their attacks until Kyron and Bahb brought our magic ray online and we got outta Dodge.

Two days later we were back at DS9. The Odyssey had arrived – big ship, really big ship. We met the Captain; well, the rest of them met the Captain, I was asked to stay at the bar while they talked, but I got to see the Captain. If I were a betting man, I’d say he’s not impressed with me, not that I can blame him. After all, I’m not much use to him until we get closer to my side of the galaxy, and at the rate this Starfleet ships move that could be another year, or more. I guess I’ll just have to stay outta his way, keep my head down, and find some other way to add to my value to the crew. There ain’t no room on a ship for a slacker.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 179.1
Location: DS9

Some days I really think I am the smartest person I know. Today is one of them. I worked out a number of positional coordinates in time and space where anomalous gateways might appear. I then convinced a bunch of people to join me on a trip to visit one. We started a club that seeks wormholes and other anomalies. I think we are calling it “SWAMIS” Spatial Wormhole And Macrocosmic Investigator Society. That is what is going in my reports. I am even posting my theories on such phenomenon on a bunch of message boards to try and get more members. I am thinking of charging 1 slip or 10 credits a month for membership and the founding members are lifetime members for free. Those members would of course be the ones who joined me on this crazy adventure.

So let me get to the story. I borrowed a runabout (The Nile) from ops on DS9. A bunch of people joined me for a few days in space. We arrived at the location and partied it up. Then I set the sensors to detect chronoton and tachyon emissions. I want to sleep.

Later I awoke to the alert claxxon sounding and Kyron screaming. Then we hit the planet. I busted my head on the ceiling and nearly was knocked out. Upon recovery, thanks to the doc, I saw that we were on a planet with a corrosive atmosphere and we were leaking plasma. Kyron and Bishop donned environmental suits and went out to fix things. While they were at it, a ship hailed us.

So we got things fixed and flew out of the planet’s atmosphere and docked with the ship. FIRST CONTACT!!!! YAY!!! A bit anti-climatic I must say. A ship of mostly humans from an alternate universe. They were really nice and helpful and their ship had no real security at all. We explored everywhere and parties with them. I slipped away and went back to the runabout to work out where the wormhole might be. The doc went off with a ram dude and got laid. Kyron went off with a cat and got laid. I think everyone got laid except me and the new girl Tiffany.

Finally I nailed the data and saw that the wormhole or gateway or whatever it was, was going to appear in a few hours. I recalled the crew and Kyron began giving orders. The ship we had encountered helped out too. Suddenly a bunch of warships appeared and all hell broke loose. Bishop took the helm while I worked on modifying the deflector to force the wormhole open early. Two hours of combat and we were at wits end. Then I hit the button to open the rift. It worked and we cheered until we saw one of the warships blocking the way. Bishop is nuts. He flew our little ship right at the warship, skimmed its surface, and popped us through the rift.

Back on DS9 everyone was real interested in why the Nile was shot to hell and had parts falling off of it. Getting the reports together is going to be a pain in the ass. At least Kyron took command and so he gets the blame if shit goes sideways.

Well, now I understand why Starfleet makes their ships so big, the Hurricane notwithstanding. It takes so fucking long to get anywhere, if you didn’t have that kind of space you’d go out of your mind with boredom! Where I was, we used what’s called a Frame Shift Drive to get around, capable of jumping a number of LY in the blink of an eye – the Glory was rated for 10LY jumps at a time! These Starfleet vessels cover that same distance in a couple of weeks so, like I said, no wonder all this luxury.

Well, at least there’s plenty of distractions, plus there’s a bar! Just need to earn some cred, which the UFP doesn’t use, so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

Me and some other guys (Bahb, Kyron, and a doctor I just met) assigned to the Odyssey were being sent to a space station in the AQ – I can’t remember the name of the ship, some science vessel primarily crewed by Vulcans (or as I like to think of them, space elves). They’re more fun than they seem to let on, at least the ones that attended my dance lessons! I spent some time with one in particular, T’Lara, who taught me something called Neuro-Pressure techniques; I’d call it rather stimulating massage, but who am I to argue?

Before we could get to where we were supposed to get to, the Starfleet guys I was with instead got assigned to a UFP Mining Colony. No, I don’t remember the name of that either. Our job was to wait to be picked up by the next Starfleet vessel, and in the meanwhile bolster security for the mine. ‘Bolster’ really meant ‘Be’, since there wasn’t anything to shore up. But, people were disappearing so we started investigating, since this mine had crap for luxuries and the only entertainment were some well-experienced whores.

It was a weird investigation, and it was obvious none of the officers I was with had any experience with tracking criminals – not really surprising since they were an engineer, a squint, and a sawbones. Eventually we determine that a transported was being used to send people to a point near the planet’s core. It took a while, but we did finally decide to make the trip, after the guys exhausted every other possibility in an attempt to avoid going.

There, we discovered ancient ruins – I would have called them Prothean in nature, but Starfleet refers to them as Iconian. Turned out the miners who had disappeared had been pressed into service clearing the ruins. The big bad in charge was an ugly tri-ped SOB; Bahb called it an Undine. They can change shape apparently, this one having done so back at the mine in an attempt to kill us during our investigation. We got the last laugh though, and killed the fucker, plus some other humanoids working with it – I think Kyron called them Defera.

Starfleet showed up in a hurry when Kyron’s report went out – I guess the word ‘Iconian’ lit a fire under their asses. We’re back on course for DS9, the station we’re headed to, and Bahb told me we should be there in 5 or 6 months. I’m pretty sure he was fucking with me on that, though. Gods I miss Glory, but I did just discover the Holodeck, so that should make passing the time a little easier.

End Log

Hello? Is this thing recording? Okay then…

I’m John Bishop, and I’m keeping this journal thing at the order of my appointed head shrink. I guess Starfleet wants to find out what makes me tick, even if they say it’s a normal part of service with the fleet. Whatever, if talking to the Doc will keep me from rotting in another jail cell, I can spend an hour or so a week.

Anyway, some personal stuff: I was born on Earth in 1969, and yeah that’s not a mistake – like I’ve already explained, me and some friends were on a class trip in upstate New York when we got abducted by aliens. Turns out they were Andorians, and their leader was some bat-shit crazy Human chick. They took us off planet, ran some tests – an NO I was not probed. They ran some tests and then dropped me back on Earth – only it wasn’t really Earth, it was some place called Terra, and it was in the Lux system. Plus, it was really futuristic looking. Matt – he was a bit of a nerd said something about Einstein and moving faster than light; science was never really my thing, so I just pushed through losing everyone I knew – well most of them – and got on with living. Eventually I became a pilot, bought a ship of my own, and started hunting bounties.

I lost touch with my classmates over time – I missed them, even the ones I didn’t really know all that well. I guess they were the last of the people I really knew, you know? I hadn’t really thought about them all too much, at least until I ran into Chad. But I guess I should explain the back story to that.

I was in the Acheron system, running down a lead on the Blood Crimson pirate group. They’re led by a particularly nasty Krogan, named Bortus. Anyway, I’d tracked them to Acheron and got into a furball with them soon enough. Adara was doing her best keeping the ship’s shields up while I was maneuvering and blasting away whenever I got a clear shot. Then, next thing I knew, Acheron wasn’t there anymore and this big fucking ship was right in front of me, barrelling down – I managed to avoid total annihilation, but even a deflecting crash can cause a lot of damage.

I woke up and, long story short, found out I was in the UFP, which just so happened to be on the other side of the galaxy from where I’d just been. How did I get here? Well, like I said, science isn’t my thing. And unless whatever happened can be reproduced, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Well, I spent some time in a medical bay on the USS Horizon, got transferred to a top secret prison facility, escaped said facility with the help of Adara and Chad, and helped rescue a Starfleet Admiral. In recognition of all this, I’ve been allowed to remain free – provided I help Starfleet explore what they call the Alpha Quadrant, which is apparently the part of the galaxy where the Lux System is.

I’ve been given a semi-official rank and have been assigned to the USS Odyssey, which will be the vessel embarking on this grand adventure. Adara decided to opt out, and instead hooked up with Chad, who’s working for an outfit called JumpCorp. I hope they know what they’re getting in her, but if not, she’ll let them know in a hurry.

End Log

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.1
Location: Bajor

We have a new assignment. We are traveling to a place called Facility 4028, a secret prison in the Briar Patch. I have grave reservations about the assignment but if it will end the stand off at DS9, then the risk is worth it. I wonder if I shall run into Bishop or Eve in the prison. I also wonder what I shall do if I do find them there.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.2
Location: Brier Patch

Arriving in the Brier Patch is a real mess for sensors but we navigated the dangers and arrived at Facility 4028. I beamed down with our new doctor and Lt Latara. Following us down was Weyoun and a bunch of Jem’Hadar. I spoke with the warden and got our clearances to fetch the prisoner. The Founder was being held deep in the facility and we had to actually go get her. Discovering the prison was a corporate run facility and that all of the staff was holograms, was both exciting and disturbing.

After getting the founder we began to walk back through the maze of corridors and security doors. Then the power went out. Lights came on moments later. I used my tricorder and detected a bunch of strange energies and particles that made no sense. We heard an explosion. We continued until we found our way blocked by a cave in. I used a terminal to get a layout and found an alternate route. As we traversed the new path we got attacked by a space monkey. I call it a space monkey because t looked like a four foot tall spider monkey. It broke Latara’s neck. Thank the gods that we had a good doctor with us. I shot the thing and we moved on. Weyoun was bitching up a storm.

When we arrived at the next cell block we found a dozen monkeys attacks a small group of inmates. We came to the rescue of the inmates and lost one of the Jem’Hadar. I broke my arm which really hurt.

The inmates were all known to me. I find the probability of running into this many coincidences to be beyond belief. One was Walker, another Bishop and his tentacled friend. The last one was Admiral Quinn. I talked with Quinn and he didn’t know me. Now my conspiracy brain kicked in and I took a chance. I armed the lot of them and we moved on.

Several battles later I had the station back on line and we left with the prisoners. I had a lot of explaining to do with the captain.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.3
Location: Deep Space

We are now en-route to Star-base One, Earth Star Port. Assuming that the Quinn we have with us is the real one, then the Admiral Quinn back at the base is an impostor. I have a plan to take him out and it looks like the admiral is on board. Crazy times.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.4
Location: Earth

The plan was simple. We would transfer some prisoners, like the three I just took from that prison, and they would escape. During the distraction, me and the doc would beam in near the admiral’s quarters. We would use his code and enter and lay a trap. The plan worked too good. We got in but then had to wait hours for the Admiral to come home. When he did we hit him with Anesthestine Gas. It just pissed him off. He turned into a three legged alien and started beating the crap out of the doc. I shot him and he just got angrier. I shot him again and he went down. We beamed out. The aftermath was a real mess but Admiral Quinn is back in charge and the alien in prison. The alien turned out to be Species 8472 or as the doc called it, an Undine. I never heard of this one so now I got to read up.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.1
Location: Bajor
I am not exactly happy with the current mission and I keep asking myself why I volunteered. We, I mean myself, Kyron and a Klingon named Qu’ranah, shall be taking a Runabout through the Bajoran Wormhole to seek a diplomatic meeting with the Dominion. Did I mention that DS9 is surrounded by a Dominion fleet and that a combined fleet of Federation, Romulan, and Klingon ships shall provide the distraction for us. So yeah, we are flying a small, virtually useless ship, into a battle and hoping we go unnoticed. I am so thrilled.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.2
Location: Bajor
Complications arise from the most unexpected places. I am sitting in the infirmary with a knife wound. I had gone to a bar to pick up Qu’ranah when a riot broke out and a little Klingon bitch stuck me with a knife. Now I need to convince the Admiral that I am well enough to do the mission. I would play dead to get out of it but that would be the end of my career.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.3
Location: Delta Quadrant
Getting through the battle was less difficult that I had expected. We only got shot once and though the ship took some damage we zipped through the wormhole and were in the Delta Quadrant. Following the flight path we were given we found a system with a lot of debris. It looked like a planet had blown itself to bits. We searched for a time and found our contact. A Ferengi D’kora sat inside of a piece of planetary debris. It was damaged and we made contact with its captain. A Ferengi heretic was looking back at us through our view screen. She was clothed like a human woman. Disgusting.

Her name was Fenexa and she wanted us to help with repairs. She needed a part. In exchange for our aid she promised to take us to the Dominion. I was very skeptical. Still we did the work. We searched the system and found some destroyed ships. Then we salvaged the parts we needed and returned. Kyron noted hundreds of small fighters and avoided contact.

When we got back I beamed over to Fenexa’s ship with the parts. I engaged the Female with negotiations. Soon enough I had her in the bedroom and conquered her in every way. She was pathetic as all females are. I love Ferengi women for this purpose. They recognize that they are inferior and do everything to prove that they should be allowed to be yours. When I was done with her, I passed out. I awoke later and found myself in chains with a huge vibrating butt plug up my ass. I was outraged but alone in the room. I could feel the ship was underway.

I squirmed and worked a hand free as two Ferengi males entered the room with Neural Whips. I yanked out the butt plug and threw it at one of them. It hit him in the mouth and he fell screaming. I freed my other hand as the other one shot me with a Neural Pulse. In his excitement, he missed. I freed a leg as he fired again. This one hit me and I nearly passed out. I faked a collapse and freed my other leg.. He came closer and I head butted him. Them I took the whip and shot both Ferengi multiple times.

I was angry as all hell. I began the ascent to the bridge, shooting anyone who got in my way. As I arrived on the bridge I saw that Fenexa was just opening communications with a bunch of Dominion assholes. I shot a Neural Pulse at her and she dove to the floor and cowered. I then negotiated with the Dominion but the cut communications. I told Fenexa that the ship was mine and she agreed. I was feeling really good. Kyron and Kerana then popped up on the communications screen. They were naked. I was naked. What the hell was going on? I discovered later that while I was conquering Fenexa, Kyron was doing the same with Qu’ranah. Females everywhere are so predictable. One strong male and they are a quivering submissive mess.

To make the story short, we worked out a deal for Dominion aid. All we had to do now was get back to Bajor and convince Starfleet to release a war criminal. I love my job.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 173.1
Location: Drozana Station

Waiting for repairs is boring stuff. So I took my free time seriously and worked out a deal with the station managers. We would repair the lighting on the station and the replicators. In exchange we got 10000 slips of latinum. I convinced Kyron to do the work and I raked in the money. After a short while the station was operational and I got paid. I split the cash with Kryon after taking a small finders fee to cover my end of the deal.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 173.2
Location: Cait

Orders came in an we were heading to Cait. Looks like war is going to suck us in. We arrived to discover that the Tholians had annexed the system. The captain initiated negotiations and the Tholians said they would send an Ambassador over. The XO took S’rell down to help out in engineering. As this was currently a diplomatic action, I agreed with the idea. We certainly didnt; need S’rell on tactical.

S’rell noticed something odd down in engineering so I did a sensor sweep. Our shields fluxuated at the same time as an odd energy burst came from a Tholian ship. Something seemed and I nailed down the transmission to deck four. I sent security and they reported back that they were taking fire. Then all hell broke out on the ship. That fracking XO was a traitor. He had barricaded himself in the deflector dish control room. He also had shot several of my crew. I send in S’rell and told her to deal with it. She did. In no time she had the XO subdued and discovered his bomb too.
Now things got interesting. We had a bomb on board and it was ticking down. It was not safe to move. I sent in Kyron and he started working on it with S’rell. With only a second left on the timer, they stopped it. Then the Tholians attacked. The battle was intense and we lost one of the Mirandas but in the end, we won. I am now ready for a long bath with a few Dabo girls.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.1
Location: Deep Space
Its been a few hours since Starfleet Intelligence stole our passengers. I am still pissed. Luckily I was smart enough to back up the data before they could grab it. I have star charts, system specs on the alien ship, and more. I was considering what to do with said data when my communicator chirped. I answered and was greeted by a female voice that asked me to join a conspiracy. I of course jumped at the chance. She wanted me to help her out by telling her where the SFI ship went. I agreed. Looking back on this decision, I think I may have been riding my emotions.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.2
Location: Deep Space
The SFI ship is heading towards the Briar Patch where rumor has it, SFI has a secret prison. I passed this onto the mystery voice and then went back to my own business. An hour later I am called to the bridge as the ship went to yellow alert. Apparently the ship was plotting a course on its own. We tried to stop it and the warp core went off line.

I was feeling a bit of a panic as I realized what was happening. The rest of the crew was in a near panic state as they didn’t have a clue. I contacted Mystery Voice and was proven correct. Our systems had been taken over by an AI. Her name is EVE.

So now began the negotiations as EVE was holding the ship hostage and making some really fucked up threats. Some hours later we had a deal. EVE is now a part of our crew and she will not interfere with shipboard operations. In exchange, well I don’t know what the captain promised.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.3
Location: Drozana Station
So we ended up at Drozana for repairs and I was placed in charge of negotiating with the station operators. Them being Ferengi, the Captain must have figured I would get us the best deal. So I did as ordered and made sure to get a little extra from the station for me. I love this job.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.1
Location: K-7
The station and our ship are nearly repaired. I suspect that we shall have the Hurricane ready for service in a couple of days. Speaking with some of the crew I have heard many rumors as to what Starfleet Intelligence is up to and it has me wondering a few things. For one, what the hell is up with all of these new aliens in a well explored region of space? Another, why is Walker being held back on the station while his team is off doing whatever mercenaries do? and Three, why haven’t we investigated the place that the blue meanies were first encountered by the Klingons? Too many questions and no real answers.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.2
Location: Klingon/Federation border
I presented a plan to the Captain and she agreed. So we were off exploring the region of space where the Blue Meanies were first encountered. While scanning the area I discovered an anomaly. It was there then it seemed gone. I increased the spectrum of the scan and was picking up an exceptional number of rare particles. The XO suggested sending a probe and we did. It disappeared. Seriously! It just vanished. I mulled over the problem and came up with an idea of tethering two probes with a cable. We did so and sent one to the spot that the first probe vanished from. A wormhole opened and I detected two ships coming right at us. We barely had time to react and one of the ships slammed into us and bounced off. The wormhole closed and the other ship must have been trapped inside. Our probes were nowhere to be seen.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.3
Location: Klingon/Federation border
Its been almost a day since the collision. On the rogue vessel we discovered an automated ship carrying two passengers. A human from the late 20th century and a female of unknown origin. They claimed to be bounty hunters but alot of their story is suspect. After speaking with them at length I believe they are from an alternate universe and somewhere in the Alpha quadrant of that universe. I am working with my team to figure out exactly where.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.4
Location: Klingon/Federation border
Starfleet intelligence just stole our passengers. I am having difficulty understanding how or why. They took the derelict ship, our passengers, and all of our data gained on the mission. They even made me sign a NDA. I am really pissed.

Hello Loggybook. Me not so happy today. Me sad. Me see blue eyed green meanie man run through force field. Me not sure if me is in holodeck or real world. Me was sleeping on hard bed. He had tummy ache and went to see the doc and the stupid crusty shell was on one bed and the blue eyed green meany was in other bed. Me not sure why me was in ‘spital with bad people. Me thinks DomPoint was looking at me. The DomPoint was saying medical stuff but she not look happy or sad. She was a no mo spongehead. Me not like her. Me want to make her go poof but me leave rupter somewhere. Me think DomPoint should go poof and then BOOM!!!! Everything shake and rock and sizzle. Me smell blood and hear screams. Blue Eye Green Meanie starts to glow and walk right through force field. Me wonder if me mind make boom. The Boom again. Me so powerful. Me just think Boom and Boom happens. Me better stop thinking boom now. Me gets up and look for crew.

Me crew deal with bumpy heads and get all kind of sweet red juice. Me likes red juice. It make me teeth hurt and me head get fuzzy. Me wake in ‘spital. Me tell ‘spital story already and me want rupter.
Mantis and Unibrow come in and beat up the DomPoint. Me want to make her go poof but Unibrow say, “She’s a doctor, she helps people.” Me tell Unibrow to take me back to Temper Ship. We take Tempership to Deep Space 9. Me hear it go boom when me think boom. Me now sure what boomthinking means. Me need Bossy to splain.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 170.1
Location: K-7

Back on K-7 and we got a break. A bunch of the crew and I were in the bar drinking with some of the mercenaries. The mercs told big tales of first contact, strange aliens, and other BS that was hardly worth listening too. The we got word of the Dominion assault on DS9. While discussing what this meant for all of us, a huge explosion rocked the station. I ordered the crew back to duty stations as the red alert was sounded. Back on the bridge I scanned the station to find more explosives. Another one detonated. Then I found the third and beamed it deep into space. It was at this moment that I had a bad feeling and followed a hunch. I scanned for unknown life forms on the station and found one moving through the jeffreys tubes. S’rell agreed that I should beam it into a holding cell on our ship. I did as directed. All seemed to be getting better when the Hurricane rocked as power drains and fluctuations hit us. We were getting damage reports from all over the ship. The crew did what they needed to and resolved the problem and I felt a bit useless as it went down. Apparently the alien escaped the brig, infected about fifteen crew members and nearly destroyed our vessel. If not for engineering and security working together, we would have been lost.
During the debriefing it was revealed that the alien was the Orion we had captured on that Klingon ship a few days earlier. He was infected with some kind of energy parasite. We turned him over to Starfleet intelligence on K-7 and he escaped. Then we beamed him to our ship and the havok was devastating. Well, repairs are underway. I guess I will have to start reading my new Padd and if time allows, try to pick up a holorecorder.

…I can hear them, moving, slithering through the accessways. They’ve infiltrated the ship, and then the crew! We fought them, it, I can no longer be certain! If only we hadn’t taken that… Wait!

Where’s my weapon? I need my weapon, they’re out there, I hear them.

Here it is, charged and ready, waiting form me, like a good soldier. I was a good soldier, once, like mist of the crew. They’re gone now, taken, by those things!

They’re closer, I need to strike, now, while surprise is on my side!

Got one on them, but there are two more! Oh god, they have phasers! I’ll die before they take me, I swear it! Another shot – missed! Fuck it, I’ll just… shit, what’s happening? My weapon is overloading! At least it’ll be over soon!

Fuck, I have to run! One of them managed to get my weapon! Run NOW! If I can get to the engine room I can finish it all. Shit! They’re still firing… almost there…

---

Where am I? Why can’t I move? Wait, calm down, look and see. I’m in medical, but I’m strapped down. Take my time and get out of this… there, one arm’s free.

What in all the hells was that? Oh gods, they’re here now! I can see them, it… coming from the duct! Gotta escape NOW! Shit! Shit!

No! NO! Get off of me! Oh GOD, NO I don’t…

The Final Moments of an Orion Pirate

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 169.1
Location: Frontier

Patrolling the frontier is quite boring. I am serving on this ship with a female from Risa serving as the captain. You would think with Risan credentials, that she would be a blast. No. Instead I am on a ship with a wet blanket that is not very fun at all. Most of the bridge crew is not bad. We got the alluring Tivna as our intelligence officer. I am not sure what to think with her but she really intrigues me. Ronin is on Helm. This guy is fun. He just needs guidance and I shall be the one to give him the nudge when needed. Our security chief, S’rull, is a pain in the ass but I do like her.
While working my station I was bored and imagining Klingon battle ships engaging us when my sensors pinged a klingon ship. I almost thought it was my imagination. A dead ship floating in space. We investigated and discovered the ship was completely powered down and only life support was operational. We beamed over some of the crew and they encountered an insane Orion who shot the XO and nearly killed her. Kryon was on the away team and took over. S’rull captured the Orion while Kyron dealt with the engineering issues of the ship. Low and behold he found an alien artifact. it was pretty cool and I wanted to play with it but never got the chance.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 169.2
Location: Tholian Space

We responded to a distress signal in Tholian space and discovered a Demon Class planet that was surrounded by quantum bubbles. The bubbles were emitting massive amounts of chronoton and tardyon particles. Following my advice the captain put me in charge of an away team. I took my buddy Kyron and a small security team. We navigated a shuttle through the bubbles and landed near the distress beacon. This is where things got a little weird. We discovered a ship from the year 2489. The crew of the ship was open to conversation and seemed very appreciative of our help. That is until I asked to use their holodeck to do some modeling and predictive planning. They cited the Temporal Prime Directive. Now everyone knows that I argued diligently against this directive in the academy but those arguments meant little here.

So we had to figure out how to free these people from the future while not destroying the planet and of course, getting ourselves home. My genius shined through and I worked up a plan. It was risky and if it failed, I suspect we would have blow the whole planet to dust. As the temporal bubbles began to fade we made our way back to our shuttle. I saw someone’s padd sitting on a table and picked it up. Our lovely S’rull saw me do it and swatted my hand. I picked it back up and protested that it was mine. After a heated argument, she seemed to take my word for it and we got off the shuttle. Our argument almost cost us the mission. We made it back to our shuttle with only second to spare.

Suddenly we were surrounded by Tholian ships and had to high tail it out of the system.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 168.1
Location: K-7
Our new ship is in Stardock and preparing for launch. It seems that the ship has alot of female officers, something I truly don’t understand in Starfleet. Still, I do my job and work within the rules as they are presented. We parted with Walker who is now off to Drozana Station. He is going to work for a contractor named JumpCorp. His final words to us were a bid for us to come join him and get rich.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 168.2
Location: The Klingon Neutral Zone
While performing standard tests of shipboard systems we picked up a distress signal from a Starfleet Cargo ship, the USS Yorkshire. We plotted a course and discovered two Talarian ships using Tetryon weapons. We disabled the ships and began an investigation. The Talarians apparently have made a deal with the Tholians that is now giving them access to advanced weaponry and shields. I suspect that we will be seeing much more trouble with the Talarians as a result of this deal.

During the post operation repairs I noticed a rather large vessel materialize at extreme sensor range. I attempted to engage the ship via a simple hello transmission. Unfortunately with the damage to the Yorkshire’s systems, my narrow beam transmission became a 720 degree blast. The ship vanished through a wormhole or possibly folded space. I quickly analyzed the distant star field and think that I have narrowed down the location of where they went. It appears to be well beyond Cardassia. I am most intrigued.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 167.1
Location: Starfleet Academy
Order received to report to the USS Hurricane.
Not happy with these order for several reasons
1. too far from Ferengi space
2. new ships have too many problems and are a real headache. This being a shakedown cruse is just a headache in a bottle and Starfleet just forced it on me.
3. most important. the mission of the Hurricane is to patrol an area of space along both the Klingon and Tholian borders. I really don’t like Tholians. They are too alien and don’t think like intelligent people should.
We shall see how this new posting plays out. The only good news is that my buddy Commander Kyron Vedick is also being assigned to the same ship.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 167.2
Location: Starbase 1 (Earth Stardock)
Admiral Quinn has requested a favor. Won’t complain as having an admiral in my pocket my come in handy one day. We have to transport a human troublemaker named Walker to K-7 where we will meet up with the Hurricane. Should be an interesting month in space. We also picked up a Vulcan named Lt. T’Prel.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 167.4
Location: Risa
After much deliberation we took a detour to Risa. technically it is against the rules but not explicitly. I believe that getting to know the culture of our new captain will help us to work better with the new ship. The casino is really nice and the Holo Leeta on the Dabo table was pristine. T’prel went off to play in a holosuite while Walker simply disappeared. Kyron did his usual and ended up on the dance floor.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 167.5
Location: Xerxes IV
Four days out from K-7 we received a distress signal from a remote science team on an uninhabited planet. The planet was being blasted with an Ion storm. Following protocol, we reported that we were going to investigate. The storm was rough and forced us to make a crash landing three kilometers from the science station. After assessing injuries we headed for the station. Immediately we were beset with primitive people using clubs. We stunned them into submission and discovered that they were a part of the team we were here to rescue. Some kind of pathogen had forced them to devolve.

We traveled to the science station and discovered more people in the early stages of degeneration. Dr. Heidi Schipp and Dr. Jasper Conrad were in rough shape but communicated with us what they knew of the situation. Apparently the Ion Storm reacted with the atmosphere of the planet and generated some kind of degenerative field. We also learned that the researchers had discovered a possible cure for Aunt Jooma’s degenerative disorder and we learned that one of Kyron’s former girl friends was among the lost in the wilderness. Using the facilities labs I worked with Lt, T’prel and discovered a cure. We saved everyone and escaped the storm thanks to my team. Unfortunately that cure for Aunt Jooma looks to be on hold.

Q watched with a certain amount of glee as her chosen agent ignited the stellar mass – this action would help push her agenda forward. As the star slowly expanded, Q looked forward into the timestream, noting the changes that would take place. The new tapestry was starting to take shape – all that was needed was a little tug on a thread here, a cut of a thread there, and the new skein was all but assured.

All that was left to do now would be to ensure the rest of the Continuum were distracted… Q departed before any Others could note her interest…

Loggybook, Me Back and Me sooo bored. Me take temper ship many places. Me not know if me fix thing but me try. Inky and Mantis say me Crazy. Me make them go poof. Me snort poof dust and me sad. Me get new Inky from Terok Nor. Me not understand why it look like Deep Space Nine. Me deal with Quirky Lobes and buy big boom boom. Quirky Lobes say it make star go poof.Me giggle alot. Me have perfect star to poof. Me gots big plans. Stupid points gonna go poof. Me smile.

Me tell Bosy take Temper ship to Hobus. Lobbybook know where Hobus is? Right? Puter say it is the star that the points need to stay alive. Me thinks big cause me gots big nobby head. Quirky Lobes say knobby head means you are smart. Me soo smart. Me soo happy. He make superpoof.

Me bored waiting for poof. Weeks keep going by and the boom boom not go boom. Ladybug says, “It takes time for the juices to cook and the sun to go super nova” Me make her go poof. Me not like brainy people showing off.

---

Loggybook me so happy. Me watch stupid brainy point try to stop me superpoof. He fly buggy ship in way of blast and he use red brainy juice to make single clarity. Me scream and use temper ship to rupture temper thingy. Bosy say it created a temporal fugue. Me not know what that is but whatever it is it make brainy point fall into temper hole. Then Nova Blast make billions of points go poof. Me soooo happy. Me wish me could snort them all. Now maybe stupid points everywhere will be sad. Maybe so sad they just die. Sad points make me happy. Me soo happy. Me so happy, and pretty, and glad, me go dancing, and singing, and . . . me not good and singing. Me go now. Me see eightleggership and me hungry.