Campaign of the Month: January 2012

Star Trek Late Night

Bahb's Log Episode 8

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.1
Location: Bajor

I am not exactly happy with the current mission and I keep asking myself why I volunteered. We, I mean myself, Kyron and a Klingon named Qu’ranah, shall be taking a Runabout through the Bajoran Wormhole to seek a diplomatic meeting with the Dominion. Did I mention that DS9 is surrounded by a Dominion fleet and that a combined fleet of Federation, Romulan, and Klingon ships shall provide the distraction for us. So yeah, we are flying a small, virtually useless ship, into a battle and hoping we go unnoticed. I am so thrilled.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.2
Location: Bajor

Complications arise from the most unexpected places. I am sitting in the infirmary with a knife wound. I had gone to a bar to pick up Qu’ranah when a riot broke out and a little Klingon bitch stuck me with a knife. Now I need to convince the Admiral that I am well enough to do the mission. I would play dead to get out of it but that would be the end of my career.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.3
Location: Delta Quadrant

Getting through the battle was less difficult that I had expected. We only got shot once and though the ship took some damage we zipped through the wormhole and were in the Delta Quadrant. Following the flight path we were given we found a system with a lot of debris. It looked like a planet had blown itself to bits. We searched for a time and found our contact. A Ferengi D’kora sat inside of a piece of planetary debris. It was damaged and we made contact with its captain. A Ferengi heretic was looking back at us through our view screen. She was clothed like a human woman. Disgusting.

Her name was Fenexa and she wanted us to help with repairs. She needed a part. In exchange for our aid she promised to take us to the Dominion. I was very skeptical. Still we did the work. We searched the system and found some destroyed ships. Then we salvaged the parts we needed and returned. Kyron noted hundreds of small fighters and avoided contact.

When we got back I beamed over to Fenexa’s ship with the parts. I engaged the Female with negotiations. Soon enough I had her in the bedroom and conquered her in every way. She was pathetic as all females are. I love Ferengi women for this purpose. They recognize that they are inferior and do everything to prove that they should be allowed to be yours. When I was done with her, I passed out. I awoke later and found myself in chains with a huge vibrating butt plug up my ass. I was outraged but alone in the room. I could feel the ship was underway.

I squirmed and worked a hand free as two Ferengi males entered the room with Neural Whips. I yanked out the butt plug and threw it at one of them. It hit him in the mouth and he fell screaming. I freed my other hand as the other one shot me with a Neural Pulse. In his excitement, he missed. I freed a leg as he fired again. This one hit me and I nearly passed out. I faked a collapse and freed my other leg.. He came closer and I head butted him. Them I took the whip and shot both Ferengi multiple times.

I was angry as all hell. I began the ascent to the bridge, shooting anyone who got in my way. As I arrived on the bridge I saw that Fenexa was just opening communications with a bunch of Dominion assholes. I shot a Neural Pulse at her and she dove to the floor and cowered. I then negotiated with the Dominion but the cut communications. I told Fenexa that the ship was mine and she agreed. I was feeling really good. Kyron and Kerana then popped up on the communications screen. They were naked. I was naked. What the hell was going on? I discovered later that while I was conquering Fenexa, Kyron was doing the same with Qu’ranah. Females everywhere are so predictable. One strong male and they are a quivering submissive mess.

To make the story short, we worked out a deal for Dominion aid. All we had to do now was get back to Bajor and convince Starfleet to release a war criminal. I love my job.



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