Campaign of the Month: January 2012

Star Trek Late Night

Personal Log - Bishop 3

I’ve finally arrived at the station DS9, which apparently wasn’t created by Starfleet, but instead had been captured in an earlier war, or something to that effect. Doesn’t really matter, it’s got decent size and room to move around in, plenty of places to go and people to meet, and a few more things to do than are normally found aboard a ship.

The Odyssey was about a week behind us, so I was gonna have plenty of time to rest up and get to know some of the crew I was supposed to be working with. And then Bahb happened; he’s an egghead, have I mentioned? I had asked Tivna out for a drink, and we wound up at a place called ’Quark’s’, on the main promenade of the station. We ran into a friend of Tivna’s, an engineering lieutenant, Tiffany Sommers, and were just settling in to order some food when Bahb walked over with a proposition. He’d been running some calculations about that wormhole that had brought me halfway across the galaxy and thought he’d determined an appearance of one in a ‘nearby’ system. He thought I might be interested (I was) and next thing I knew we had a road trip planned.

Tiffany wanted to go, but Tivna thought it was a bad idea – seems she had a better understanding of the kinda crap Bahb gets into. I’m just gonna say that he likes to run right up to the edge of breaking the rules, and then take a step across when he thinks nobody’s looking. Then we ran into Chani and she decided to come along too.

Two days later we’re in the system Bahb located – binary stars with three asteroid rings. We were taking sensor scans and hoping to witness a wormhole. Success! It fucking opened right on top of us and then we were gone, off to what might have been the same two stars, only this system had no asteroids and five planets, one of which was rather close. Then we hit the mountain.

Kyron had been in the cockpit, and actually managed to minimize the damage – though I suppose if he hadn’t I wouldn’t be making this log entry, would I? We started repairs and were contacted by a ship that had witnessed our accident. They offered to send down a shuttle to help out, but Starfleet officers apparently don’t accept aid, so we took the time, made our repairs, and headed into orbit to meet our neighbors.

The ship was the USS Reliant, of the Planetary Union. True to his word, Bahb had found a wormhole to take us to another dimension – it wasn’t where I was from, but he considered the whole thing to be a success anyhow. We made ‘first contact’ (even though they were from Earth), attended a party in our honor, and made some friends. They told us about the Union, we told them about the Federation, and then their enemies, the Krill showed up, right around the time the last wormhole that could take us home was going to appear. Life’s never easy, is it?

Starfleet did their science thing and did something with the deflector to get the wormhole to open early – good thing, too, since the Reliant was engaging three Krill vessels on our behalf, and could only hold their attention for so long. One of the cruisers split off to target us, but this time I was at the controls. I managed to evade most of their attacks until Kyron and Bahb brought our magic ray online and we got outta Dodge.

Two days later we were back at DS9. The Odyssey had arrived – big ship, really big ship. We met the Captain; well, the rest of them met the Captain, I was asked to stay at the bar while they talked, but I got to see the Captain. If I were a betting man, I’d say he’s not impressed with me, not that I can blame him. After all, I’m not much use to him until we get closer to my side of the galaxy, and at the rate this Starfleet ships move that could be another year, or more. I guess I’ll just have to stay outta his way, keep my head down, and find some other way to add to my value to the crew. There ain’t no room on a ship for a slacker.

Bahb's Log Episode 10

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 179.1
Location: DS9

Some days I really think I am the smartest person I know. Today is one of them. I worked out a number of positional coordinates in time and space where anomalous gateways might appear. I then convinced a bunch of people to join me on a trip to visit one. We started a club that seeks wormholes and other anomalies. I think we are calling it “SWAMIS” Spatial Wormhole And Macrocosmic Investigator Society. That is what is going in my reports. I am even posting my theories on such phenomenon on a bunch of message boards to try and get more members. I am thinking of charging 1 slip or 10 credits a month for membership and the founding members are lifetime members for free. Those members would of course be the ones who joined me on this crazy adventure.

So let me get to the story. I borrowed a runabout (The Nile) from ops on DS9. A bunch of people joined me for a few days in space. We arrived at the location and partied it up. Then I set the sensors to detect chronoton and tachyon emissions. I want to sleep.

Later I awoke to the alert claxxon sounding and Kyron screaming. Then we hit the planet. I busted my head on the ceiling and nearly was knocked out. Upon recovery, thanks to the doc, I saw that we were on a planet with a corrosive atmosphere and we were leaking plasma. Kyron and Bishop donned environmental suits and went out to fix things. While they were at it, a ship hailed us.

So we got things fixed and flew out of the planet’s atmosphere and docked with the ship. FIRST CONTACT!!!! YAY!!! A bit anti-climatic I must say. A ship of mostly humans from an alternate universe. They were really nice and helpful and their ship had no real security at all. We explored everywhere and parties with them. I slipped away and went back to the runabout to work out where the wormhole might be. The doc went off with a ram dude and got laid. Kyron went off with a cat and got laid. I think everyone got laid except me and the new girl Tiffany.

Finally I nailed the data and saw that the wormhole or gateway or whatever it was, was going to appear in a few hours. I recalled the crew and Kyron began giving orders. The ship we had encountered helped out too. Suddenly a bunch of warships appeared and all hell broke loose. Bishop took the helm while I worked on modifying the deflector to force the wormhole open early. Two hours of combat and we were at wits end. Then I hit the button to open the rift. It worked and we cheered until we saw one of the warships blocking the way. Bishop is nuts. He flew our little ship right at the warship, skimmed its surface, and popped us through the rift.

Back on DS9 everyone was real interested in why the Nile was shot to hell and had parts falling off of it. Getting the reports together is going to be a pain in the ass. At least Kyron took command and so he gets the blame if shit goes sideways.

Personal Log - Bishop 2

Well, now I understand why Starfleet makes their ships so big, the Hurricane notwithstanding. It takes so fucking long to get anywhere, if you didn’t have that kind of space you’d go out of your mind with boredom! Where I was, we used what’s called a Frame Shift Drive to get around, capable of jumping a number of LY in the blink of an eye – the Glory was rated for 10LY jumps at a time! These Starfleet vessels cover that same distance in a couple of weeks so, like I said, no wonder all this luxury.

Well, at least there’s plenty of distractions, plus there’s a bar! Just need to earn some cred, which the UFP doesn’t use, so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

Me and some other guys (Bahb, Kyron, and a doctor I just met) assigned to the Odyssey were being sent to a space station in the AQ – I can’t remember the name of the ship, some science vessel primarily crewed by Vulcans (or as I like to think of them, space elves). They’re more fun than they seem to let on, at least the ones that attended my dance lessons! I spent some time with one in particular, T’Lara, who taught me something called Neuro-Pressure techniques; I’d call it rather stimulating massage, but who am I to argue?

Before we could get to where we were supposed to get to, the Starfleet guys I was with instead got assigned to a UFP Mining Colony. No, I don’t remember the name of that either. Our job was to wait to be picked up by the next Starfleet vessel, and in the meanwhile bolster security for the mine. ‘Bolster’ really meant ‘Be’, since there wasn’t anything to shore up. But, people were disappearing so we started investigating, since this mine had crap for luxuries and the only entertainment were some well-experienced whores.

It was a weird investigation, and it was obvious none of the officers I was with had any experience with tracking criminals – not really surprising since they were an engineer, a squint, and a sawbones. Eventually we determine that a transported was being used to send people to a point near the planet’s core. It took a while, but we did finally decide to make the trip, after the guys exhausted every other possibility in an attempt to avoid going.

There, we discovered ancient ruins – I would have called them Prothean in nature, but Starfleet refers to them as Iconian. Turned out the miners who had disappeared had been pressed into service clearing the ruins. The big bad in charge was an ugly tri-ped SOB; Bahb called it an Undine. They can change shape apparently, this one having done so back at the mine in an attempt to kill us during our investigation. We got the last laugh though, and killed the fucker, plus some other humanoids working with it – I think Kyron called them Defera.

Starfleet showed up in a hurry when Kyron’s report went out – I guess the word ‘Iconian’ lit a fire under their asses. We’re back on course for DS9, the station we’re headed to, and Bahb told me we should be there in 5 or 6 months. I’m pretty sure he was fucking with me on that, though. Gods I miss Glory, but I did just discover the Holodeck, so that should make passing the time a little easier.

End Log

Personal Log - Bishop 1

Hello? Is this thing recording? Okay then…

I’m John Bishop, and I’m keeping this journal thing at the order of my appointed head shrink. I guess Starfleet wants to find out what makes me tick, even if they say it’s a normal part of service with the fleet. Whatever, if talking to the Doc will keep me from rotting in another jail cell, I can spend an hour or so a week.

Anyway, some personal stuff: I was born on Earth in 1969, and yeah that’s not a mistake – like I’ve already explained, me and some friends were on a class trip in upstate New York when we got abducted by aliens. Turns out they were Andorians, and their leader was some bat-shit crazy Human chick. They took us off planet, ran some tests – an NO I was not probed. They ran some tests and then dropped me back on Earth – only it wasn’t really Earth, it was some place called Terra, and it was in the Lux system. Plus, it was really futuristic looking. Matt – he was a bit of a nerd said something about Einstein and moving faster than light; science was never really my thing, so I just pushed through losing everyone I knew – well most of them – and got on with living. Eventually I became a pilot, bought a ship of my own, and started hunting bounties.

I lost touch with my classmates over time – I missed them, even the ones I didn’t really know all that well. I guess they were the last of the people I really knew, you know? I hadn’t really thought about them all too much, at least until I ran into Chad. But I guess I should explain the back story to that.

I was in the Acheron system, running down a lead on the Blood Crimson pirate group. They’re led by a particularly nasty Krogan, named Bortus. Anyway, I’d tracked them to Acheron and got into a furball with them soon enough. Adara was doing her best keeping the ship’s shields up while I was maneuvering and blasting away whenever I got a clear shot. Then, next thing I knew, Acheron wasn’t there anymore and this big fucking ship was right in front of me, barrelling down – I managed to avoid total annihilation, but even a deflecting crash can cause a lot of damage.

I woke up and, long story short, found out I was in the UFP, which just so happened to be on the other side of the galaxy from where I’d just been. How did I get here? Well, like I said, science isn’t my thing. And unless whatever happened can be reproduced, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Well, I spent some time in a medical bay on the USS Horizon, got transferred to a top secret prison facility, escaped said facility with the help of Adara and Chad, and helped rescue a Starfleet Admiral. In recognition of all this, I’ve been allowed to remain free – provided I help Starfleet explore what they call the Alpha Quadrant, which is apparently the part of the galaxy where the Lux System is.

I’ve been given a semi-official rank and have been assigned to the USS Odyssey, which will be the vessel embarking on this grand adventure. Adara decided to opt out, and instead hooked up with Chad, who’s working for an outfit called JumpCorp. I hope they know what they’re getting in her, but if not, she’ll let them know in a hurry.

End Log

Bahb's Log Episode 9
Prison Break

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.1
Location: Bajor

We have a new assignment. We are traveling to a place called Facility 4028, a secret prison in the Briar Patch. I have grave reservations about the assignment but if it will end the stand off at DS9, then the risk is worth it. I wonder if I shall run into Bishop or Eve in the prison. I also wonder what I shall do if I do find them there.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.2
Location: Brier Patch

Arriving in the Brier Patch is a real mess for sensors but we navigated the dangers and arrived at Facility 4028. I beamed down with our new doctor and Lt Latara. Following us down was Weyoun and a bunch of Jem’Hadar. I spoke with the warden and got our clearances to fetch the prisoner. The Founder was being held deep in the facility and we had to actually go get her. Discovering the prison was a corporate run facility and that all of the staff was holograms, was both exciting and disturbing.

After getting the founder we began to walk back through the maze of corridors and security doors. Then the power went out. Lights came on moments later. I used my tricorder and detected a bunch of strange energies and particles that made no sense. We heard an explosion. We continued until we found our way blocked by a cave in. I used a terminal to get a layout and found an alternate route. As we traversed the new path we got attacked by a space monkey. I call it a space monkey because t looked like a four foot tall spider monkey. It broke Latara’s neck. Thank the gods that we had a good doctor with us. I shot the thing and we moved on. Weyoun was bitching up a storm.

When we arrived at the next cell block we found a dozen monkeys attacks a small group of inmates. We came to the rescue of the inmates and lost one of the Jem’Hadar. I broke my arm which really hurt.

The inmates were all known to me. I find the probability of running into this many coincidences to be beyond belief. One was Walker, another Bishop and his tentacled friend. The last one was Admiral Quinn. I talked with Quinn and he didn’t know me. Now my conspiracy brain kicked in and I took a chance. I armed the lot of them and we moved on.

Several battles later I had the station back on line and we left with the prisoners. I had a lot of explaining to do with the captain.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.3
Location: Deep Space

We are now en-route to Star-base One, Earth Star Port. Assuming that the Quinn we have with us is the real one, then the Admiral Quinn back at the base is an impostor. I have a plan to take him out and it looks like the admiral is on board. Crazy times.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 175.4
Location: Earth

The plan was simple. We would transfer some prisoners, like the three I just took from that prison, and they would escape. During the distraction, me and the doc would beam in near the admiral’s quarters. We would use his code and enter and lay a trap. The plan worked too good. We got in but then had to wait hours for the Admiral to come home. When he did we hit him with Anesthestine Gas. It just pissed him off. He turned into a three legged alien and started beating the crap out of the doc. I shot him and he just got angrier. I shot him again and he went down. We beamed out. The aftermath was a real mess but Admiral Quinn is back in charge and the alien in prison. The alien turned out to be Species 8472 or as the doc called it, an Undine. I never heard of this one so now I got to read up.

Bahb's Log Episode 8

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.1
Location: Bajor

I am not exactly happy with the current mission and I keep asking myself why I volunteered. We, I mean myself, Kyron and a Klingon named Qu’ranah, shall be taking a Runabout through the Bajoran Wormhole to seek a diplomatic meeting with the Dominion. Did I mention that DS9 is surrounded by a Dominion fleet and that a combined fleet of Federation, Romulan, and Klingon ships shall provide the distraction for us. So yeah, we are flying a small, virtually useless ship, into a battle and hoping we go unnoticed. I am so thrilled.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.2
Location: Bajor

Complications arise from the most unexpected places. I am sitting in the infirmary with a knife wound. I had gone to a bar to pick up Qu’ranah when a riot broke out and a little Klingon bitch stuck me with a knife. Now I need to convince the Admiral that I am well enough to do the mission. I would play dead to get out of it but that would be the end of my career.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 174.3
Location: Delta Quadrant

Getting through the battle was less difficult that I had expected. We only got shot once and though the ship took some damage we zipped through the wormhole and were in the Delta Quadrant. Following the flight path we were given we found a system with a lot of debris. It looked like a planet had blown itself to bits. We searched for a time and found our contact. A Ferengi D’kora sat inside of a piece of planetary debris. It was damaged and we made contact with its captain. A Ferengi heretic was looking back at us through our view screen. She was clothed like a human woman. Disgusting.

Her name was Fenexa and she wanted us to help with repairs. She needed a part. In exchange for our aid she promised to take us to the Dominion. I was very skeptical. Still we did the work. We searched the system and found some destroyed ships. Then we salvaged the parts we needed and returned. Kyron noted hundreds of small fighters and avoided contact.

When we got back I beamed over to Fenexa’s ship with the parts. I engaged the Female with negotiations. Soon enough I had her in the bedroom and conquered her in every way. She was pathetic as all females are. I love Ferengi women for this purpose. They recognize that they are inferior and do everything to prove that they should be allowed to be yours. When I was done with her, I passed out. I awoke later and found myself in chains with a huge vibrating butt plug up my ass. I was outraged but alone in the room. I could feel the ship was underway.

I squirmed and worked a hand free as two Ferengi males entered the room with Neural Whips. I yanked out the butt plug and threw it at one of them. It hit him in the mouth and he fell screaming. I freed my other hand as the other one shot me with a Neural Pulse. In his excitement, he missed. I freed a leg as he fired again. This one hit me and I nearly passed out. I faked a collapse and freed my other leg.. He came closer and I head butted him. Them I took the whip and shot both Ferengi multiple times.

I was angry as all hell. I began the ascent to the bridge, shooting anyone who got in my way. As I arrived on the bridge I saw that Fenexa was just opening communications with a bunch of Dominion assholes. I shot a Neural Pulse at her and she dove to the floor and cowered. I then negotiated with the Dominion but the cut communications. I told Fenexa that the ship was mine and she agreed. I was feeling really good. Kyron and Kerana then popped up on the communications screen. They were naked. I was naked. What the hell was going on? I discovered later that while I was conquering Fenexa, Kyron was doing the same with Qu’ranah. Females everywhere are so predictable. One strong male and they are a quivering submissive mess.

To make the story short, we worked out a deal for Dominion aid. All we had to do now was get back to Bajor and convince Starfleet to release a war criminal. I love my job.

Bahb's Log Episode 7

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 173.1
Location: Drozana Station

Waiting for repairs is boring stuff. So I took my free time seriously and worked out a deal with the station managers. We would repair the lighting on the station and the replicators. In exchange we got 10000 slips of latinum. I convinced Kyron to do the work and I raked in the money. After a short while the station was operational and I got paid. I split the cash with Kryon after taking a small finders fee to cover my end of the deal.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 173.2
Location: Cait

Orders came in an we were heading to Cait. Looks like war is going to suck us in. We arrived to discover that the Tholians had annexed the system. The captain initiated negotiations and the Tholians said they would send an Ambassador over. The XO took S’rell down to help out in engineering. As this was currently a diplomatic action, I agreed with the idea. We certainly didnt; need S’rell on tactical.

S’rell noticed something odd down in engineering so I did a sensor sweep. Our shields fluxuated at the same time as an odd energy burst came from a Tholian ship. Something seemed and I nailed down the transmission to deck four. I sent security and they reported back that they were taking fire. Then all hell broke out on the ship. That fracking XO was a traitor. He had barricaded himself in the deflector dish control room. He also had shot several of my crew. I send in S’rell and told her to deal with it. She did. In no time she had the XO subdued and discovered his bomb too.
Now things got interesting. We had a bomb on board and it was ticking down. It was not safe to move. I sent in Kyron and he started working on it with S’rell. With only a second left on the timer, they stopped it. Then the Tholians attacked. The battle was intense and we lost one of the Mirandas but in the end, we won. I am now ready for a long bath with a few Dabo girls.

Bahb's Log Episode 6

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.1
Location: Deep Space

Its been a few hours since Starfleet Intelligence stole our passengers. I am still pissed. Luckily I was smart enough to back up the data before they could grab it. I have star charts, system specs on the alien ship, and more. I was considering what to do with said data when my communicator chirped. I answered and was greeted by a female voice that asked me to join a conspiracy. I of course jumped at the chance. She wanted me to help her out by telling her where the SFI ship went. I agreed. Looking back on this decision, I think I may have been riding my emotions.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.2
Location: Deep Space

The SFI ship is heading towards the Briar Patch where rumor has it, SFI has a secret prison. I passed this onto the mystery voice and then went back to my own business. An hour later I am called to the bridge as the ship went to yellow alert. Apparently the ship was plotting a course on its own. We tried to stop it and the warp core went off line.

I was feeling a bit of a panic as I realized what was happening. The rest of the crew was in a near panic state as they didn’t have a clue. I contacted Mystery Voice and was proven correct. Our systems had been taken over by an AI. Her name is EVE.

So now began the negotiations as EVE was holding the ship hostage and making some really fucked up threats. Some hours later we had a deal. EVE is now a part of our crew and she will not interfere with shipboard operations. In exchange, well I don’t know what the captain promised.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 172.3
Location: Drozana Station

So we ended up at Drozana for repairs and I was placed in charge of negotiating with the station operators. Them being Ferengi, the Captain must have figured I would get us the best deal. So I did as ordered and made sure to get a little extra from the station for me. I love this job.

Bahb's Log Episode 5

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.1
Location: K-7

The station and our ship are nearly repaired. I suspect that we shall have the Hurricane ready for service in a couple of days. Speaking with some of the crew I have heard many rumors as to what Starfleet Intelligence is up to and it has me wondering a few things. For one, what the hell is up with all of these new aliens in a well explored region of space? Another, why is Walker being held back on the station while his team is off doing whatever mercenaries do? and Three, why haven’t we investigated the place that the blue meanies were first encountered by the Klingons? Too many questions and no real answers.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.2
Location: Klingon/Federation border

I presented a plan to the Captain and she agreed. So we were off exploring the region of space where the Blue Meanies were first encountered. While scanning the area I discovered an anomaly. It was there then it seemed gone. I increased the spectrum of the scan and was picking up an exceptional number of rare particles. The XO suggested sending a probe and we did. It disappeared. Seriously! It just vanished. I mulled over the problem and came up with an idea of tethering two probes with a cable. We did so and sent one to the spot that the first probe vanished from. A wormhole opened and I detected two ships coming right at us. We barely had time to react and one of the ships slammed into us and bounced off. The wormhole closed and the other ship must have been trapped inside. Our probes were nowhere to be seen.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.3
Location: Klingon/Federation border

Its been almost a day since the collision. On the rogue vessel we discovered an automated ship carrying two passengers. A human from the late 20th century and a female of unknown origin. They claimed to be bounty hunters but alot of their story is suspect. After speaking with them at length I believe they are from an alternate universe and somewhere in the Alpha quadrant of that universe. I am working with my team to figure out exactly where.

Commander Bahb’s Log
Entry 171.4
Location: Klingon/Federation border

Starfleet intelligence just stole our passengers. I am having difficulty understanding how or why. They took the derelict ship, our passengers, and all of our data gained on the mission. They even made me sign a NDA. I am really pissed.

Crazy Eight’s Personal Log Timeline 2 - Episode 4

Hello Loggybook. Me not so happy today. Me sad. Me see blue eyed green meanie man run through force field. Me not sure if me is in holodeck or real world. Me was sleeping on hard bed. He had tummy ache and went to see the doc and the stupid crusty shell was on one bed and the blue eyed green meany was in other bed. Me not sure why me was in ‘spital with bad people. Me thinks DomPoint was looking at me. The DomPoint was saying medical stuff but she not look happy or sad. She was a no mo spongehead. Me not like her. Me want to make her go poof but me leave rupter somewhere. Me think DomPoint should go poof and then BOOM!!!! Everything shake and rock and sizzle. Me smell blood and hear screams. Blue Eye Green Meanie starts to glow and walk right through force field. Me wonder if me mind make boom. The Boom again. Me so powerful. Me just think Boom and Boom happens. Me better stop thinking boom now. Me gets up and look for crew.

Me crew deal with bumpy heads and get all kind of sweet red juice. Me likes red juice. It make me teeth hurt and me head get fuzzy. Me wake in ‘spital. Me tell ‘spital story already and me want rupter.
Mantis and Unibrow come in and beat up the DomPoint. Me want to make her go poof but Unibrow say, “She’s a doctor, she helps people.” Me tell Unibrow to take me back to Temper Ship. We take Tempership to Deep Space 9. Me hear it go boom when me think boom. Me now sure what boomthinking means. Me need Bossy to splain.


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